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Big Bro Interview

Bam Margera
by Chris Nieratko


The frist time I ever saw Bam, he had tits. He didn't show them off or anything, but they were pretty easy to see through his baggy t-shirt. I remember watching him just shit all over this mini-ramp and wondering, "Who the hell is this roly-poly fat kid blasting face-high frontside airs?" Then someone told me his name and that he was from Westchester, Pennsylvania. Then I started feeling bad for him, like, "It's bad enough his name sucks, he's fat, and he's from Westchester. He'll never go anywhere in life." And I was right. He's still sitting back in Westchester messing around, only now he's the star of Jackass, one of the highest-paid skateboarders in the world, is working on a major motion picture and hangs out with rap stars. What a shame.

For the record, tell everybody how you got the name Bam again
I got the name Bam from my grandpa. I was like three or something, just running into walls being an idiot, and it was just like, bam, bam, bam, chill out, bam, bam. So it was Bam Bam forever, and then when I reached 5th grade, everyone called me Bam, even my teachers and shit

Do you even remember what your real name is?
Yeah, it's Brandon. Nobody ever calls me that though

Would you get pissed off if they started calling you that?
No, I don't care

And why don't you tell everybody what it feels like to be confused for a little girl when you were growing up?
What do you mean?

I heard that you looked like a little girl when you were little
Oh, did I? No, I never had long hair. Maybe when I was like two or something

But you sure you weren't maybe like nine or ten and had long hair?
No, I never had long hair. Maybe I just looked like a girl with short hair

What's the most expensive house in Westchester?
Yeah, I just bought a new one right outside of Westchester in Glen Mills. That was $400,000. My mom really liked it, so I got it for her, and I'm always on tour in California and stuff, so it's pretty much her house. I just said I wanted the three-car garage and I wanted the basement and I want two rooms upstairs.

How big is the house?
There's six rooms, and there is one big one. I'm probably gonna put a halfpipe in the back and just make it a fucked-up film house, like put trampolines and pools and diving boards off the top of the roof and make it complete madness

So you finally started drinking?
Yeah, finally. I got so pissed off at my ex-girlfriend, that was the first reason why

Why, what happened?
She got fingered at the beach by some random dude. I was like three hours away in Ocean City, Maryland, and I'm like, "What the fuck, man?" I'm like "Fuck it, I'm just gonna get hammered because I'm so mad."

How did you find out?
She told me. I was on tour, on some random Toy Machine tour in Chicago, and she was like telling me how much she loved me and how much fun we're going to have 'cause it was like senior week and shit and I was like "Chill out. I'll be there in two days" you know. So I didn't talk to her for two days, and then I just decided to drive up there without calling her, and then when I was like 20 minutes away I decided to call, and then she told me that she hooked up with somebody. A week later I found out that it was her getting fingered at the beach instead, So whenever somebody says that they hooked up with somebody, it always probably a little bit more than that. But I have a really cool girlfriend now. Her name is Jenn.

You've been with this girl Jenn since you turned into a superstar?
Well, I've known her since I was like 13, but she's six years older than me. I'm 21 and she's 27

Since you've pretty much blew up and you're all famous and shit now, and you've been with the same chick?
Yeah, I mean I could go away for two months and not have to worry about anything. I broke up with her for a little bit just 'cause I knew I had to think about stuff, and then when I got home, I realized it's good, I couldn't ask for anything better, so why not.

Yeah, but aren't all kinds of fuckin hot-ass model chicks trying to get in your pants?
Sometimes, but it's just like it would be only that night and is it worth it? Do you think it's worth it?

Man, you know how you feel about all those years of drinking you missed out on?

It's going to be the same feeling in a couple years with chicks
I go to these radio stations in Philly, and they're always saying 'What are you doing, man, this is like your time, why do ou have a girlfirend right now?' I'm just like, whatever. I just try to blow it off. It's so mellow now though, I'm like so busy filming and skating and just doing other shit that a girlfriend is like 5th on the list and she totally knows that. It's such a mellow relationship that it's perfect the way it is right now

Didn't Pink try to get with you?
No. I used to skate with her back in the day and she was just saying call me up when you get to LA because I just moved to Venice. So I gave her a call and I just went over to her house, and we were just watching TV and shit. I don't even remember skating with her back in the day, but she was naming all the friends that were my friends, so I was like 'All right, I believe you'

Could she skate?
she says she can, she says that's she's building a halfpipe in the front of her house, so I guess she's pretty good. She said she went to Cheap Skates all the time and went to Woodward and she knows Tom Boyle and stuff, and I was like 'damn' you know

Did she remind you of how fat you used to be when you used to skate?
Dude, I made this CKy documentary and I had to go through all the old footage, and I was so bummed to use my shit because I'm a fuckin fat bastard right there

And you used to fucking skate with no shirt on too, and you had tits
I would be like 'Dude I think I'm fuckin fat' and my mom would be like 'No, you'll spread out when you start growing. You're 15 right now, you're going to squirt up' I'm like, yeah right

You were just fat
It's just that Phil goes to the supermarket and gets all these coupons and brings home all these goodies and shit. I was just eating what he was bringing home, what the hell did I know? I was like some 15 year old punk, and when I went to California and met Ed, and he's all like 'yo vegan, vegan, vegan," you know like 'you can't eat turkey, you have to have vegan turkey. you can't have an asprin, you have to have a vegan asprin,' so like-

What the hell is vegan asprin?
Just everything was vegan. Then I'm like "damn, all right, health food" so then I started doing that, so now when I go home I just get my own shit

But you're not vegan are you?
No, I was a vegetarian for a little while, but then like fuck it, who cares

How was that, working with fuckin Ed, him being so hardcore about that shit?
Sometimes it sucked. I remember driving cross country with him and we would be drving on the 80, and we would go two to three hours outta the way to stop in like, Roanoke, Virginia to get some health food at this really cool health food store. Kerry was so pissed cause he liked McDonalds and shit and he thinks that all vegan stuff tastes like air and he's just like 'This is bullshit, I don't know why we're drivin three fuckin hours out of the way to eat this vegan bullshit when I'm just gonna go across the street to Wendy's anyway" You know he was just so angry about it, it was hilarious

So after Toy Machine where did you go, over to Element?
Well, I didn't really want to leave Toy Machine, but Tod Swank was ripping me off for the CKy video, So I was just like 'Ed, what am I sussposed to do? I wanna be involved with Toy Machine, but I don't wanna be involved with Tum Yeto" and Ed didn't do anything about it, so I'm like, All right, I'm gone then, see ya. Then Maldonado left, and then Kerry left, and it's just like fuck Tod Swank you know. Now I'm on Element. It was the best move I ever made because what I was making over there at Tum Yeto was a complete joke

When I hung out with you, what was that gay drink you were drinking?
I like girly drinks. I was into Midori sours and then Danny from the skatepark got me into blackberry brandy

What's the deal with Danny from the skatepark?
The only thing I could tell you about Danny from the skatepark is that he was going to buy a brand new Cadillac, and he went to test drive it and the car dealer dude said "I'll let you take it for tonight, you come back tomorrow morning and you can tell me if you want it" because he was so positive that he wanted it. So he goes out with the Caddy with his boys and gets all hammered at the bar and rolls the mother fucker over. So he's all drunk, gets out of the car when he rolled it down the hill and he just went back to the bar and got more hammered. So like the next day, the dudes like "Where's my car?" He's like "I rolled the son of a bitch" and he didn't have to pay anything because it was his fault for letting him take it in the first place

What happened to you burning that car, did you ever get into any trouble for that?
I skipped town. I let my dad handle it. I was scared. It was lit on fire right outside my house

That's gotta be weird right?
Yeah and they were like "what happened?" and I just didn't know what to say. Rake Yohn was lighting Napalm packets in there and stuff and so I was just like "Dude, I don't wanna deal with this" I just left. I got full coverage, so I guess I really didn't need a story, but I went to California and my dad handled it, and they didn't really ask me any questions

Are you working on a CKy3 now?
Kind of. I got this deal through Universal because CKy the band just signed to Island Records and they're connected to Universal. So I'm going to make a CKy3 type video kind of like a best-of video with footage from the other videos in there too, but using only CKy music, so it'll be pretty much like a new video. People who have already seen the old videos will be psyched. I'm gonna edit it and then they're gonna put it out in real places

How did your brother get that gig, pretty much through you and your Jackass shit?
I think everybody pretty much helped him out, Them having songs on Jackass really helped and just the CKy videos helped alot, and then they put out a show on the Whiskey right on Sunset and all those producers and big time dudes showed up. It turned out to be a really good show and then just showing them the website and how many hits are on it. And they sold like 35,000 albums just through Volcom Entertainment through the mail, which is unheard of. So they're gonna get real big pretty soon

Tell me about the last Tony Hawk tour, what highlights were there that didn't make it on camera?
yeah, I know there's so much good stuff that you just can't play on Jackass and ESPN and stuff. I'm surprised they put the hotel jump in there. That was probably the funniest thing. It was the sixth floor of a hotel. I just jumped off into an eight foot deep pool. It was just madness, it was so easy. You would skate a demo for a day and get $1,200 and then get to chill the next day, then it was like have fun all day, and then the next day's the demo and then have fun again, and then the next day's the demo-it's so simple

Tell me about Kris Markovich's stage diving
Yeah, at the Foo Fighter's concert. He was just getting hammered and he gives me the camera like "Film this, I'm gonna jump into the crowd" but there wasn't anybody standing, they were all sitting down in chairs. I was sitting there waiting for like 15 minutes to hit the record button. I'm like, he chickened out, he wussed. I was getting ready to shut it off and then I look up, and there he goes running full speed. I'm like "fuck fuck fuck" and I missed the whole thing. He got so worked he hit people and chairs and stuff. He had little bruises all over the place

Did the security guards do anything?
yeah, yeah, the one guy punched him in the face and everybody was all angry and stuff and I think I have footage of him gettting punched

Did you ever shit on anybody's skateboard Bam?
I had nothing to do with that. Oh, man I got into the Hawk tour and everybody was pissed at some skater

Who? the one that only wears yellow shirts?
yeah, and somebody pooped in this skater's bearings and like I had nothing to do with it, but I saw the whole thing happen. That's about it

Tell me about the Cky documentary, what's the deal with that?
It's pretty much for the die-hard fans only. It's like footage before CKy1 and it's like little skits that I did in '93 and '94 and some stuff in '95 and '96 It just builds up to where we are now

Making new Cky stuff now and looking back on that old stuff, how has that changed for you?
The quality and just everything is much more legit now, and we actually have money to work with. Before it was just an 8mm video camera, and we would have to keep recording over the same tape because no one wanted to buy a new one. And I mean MTV always has these schedules like 'arrive in LA at 3pm, film the Ice Skateboarding skit at four o'clock" Just having all these legit things, its hard to just get footage like that. The best footage is so spontaneous, like I go in the woods with Brandon and Ryan and just walk around and just fall outta trees and shit and that's where we get our best footage. Just going in the woods and just being an idiot

How do you handle dealing with that MTV mentality?
I just do it. Sometimes I get bummed because they try to be all legit about it and people start arguing like when they came out to Westchester to film. The first day we filmed 'Straight Jacket' where I was like barging out of a mental institution and Tremaine and Mike Ballard were arguing so bad because I had this super-good fall and the only person that could film it was Ballard cause there was a wall blocking the other two cameramen,so they were like "Ballard, you were the only person that could have got that shot, why didn't you get it?" and he said "You told me to film reactions, everything that I'm going to do is wrong, so fuck this" I didn't even feel like being funny at all anymore, I was just like, this sucks

So do you still do most of the stuff yourself and then just send it over to MTV?
yeah, I do everything myself. I film it, but if it's me doing it, I get Gee to film it, and I have Media 100 at my house so I edit everything and then send it over there. But I hate it cause they cut it up into nothing over there, like the skit would have to be 3 minutes long then and they'll make it like a minute and 25 seconds, and you don't even know what the fuck is going on

Do you have any kind of say in that shit?
Kind of, now that I know everybody over there, it's alot easier, but in the beginning I didn't know anybody and they were just choppin' shit up and they would put Knoxville on there for 5 minutes, but if it was anybody else, it would be like for 2 seconds

I hear horror stories about how MTV doesn't pay alot of money?
yeah, I know. I'm doing good just because I film, edit and other shit. It's better than nothing. I tell Ryan Dunn and those guys "Yo, if you were getting no money you're better off doing it anyway becaise what else would you be doing? Putting stereos in cars and shit in Westchester?" I'm just like I'm going to do this and not bitch about it and then cooler shit will happen later on and it is, so I'm not really worried about it

Knoxville's got all these movie deals, your brother's getting the band signed. What things are happening for you?
I'm sussposed to do a Marilyn Manson video pretty soon and just alot of legit magazines like we did Rolling Stone and I think me and Knoxville are going to have the cover of Spin and then the movie that I wrote with Bran and Hoof, that's gonna go down pretty soon, we just finished that

Did somebody buy it already?
I jsut had two weeks worth of meetings in LA with every company possible. Like New Line Cinema, Warner Bros, Sony, Columbia Pictures, everybody. A few of 'em went really, really good and then there's like Orignal Films or something thing that sucked shit

What's the basic outline of the movie?
It's actually a true story and it's gonna be funny. It's about Ryan Dunn and how his ex-girlfriend fucked the town of Westchester behind his back. She was such a slut, she seriously humped loads of people while he was going out with her, and he found out a year later. She would do gnarly things. She would see her ex at the bar and Ryan would be like "Dude, why are you talkin' to your ex boyfriend, why?" And she would be like "I think that you're over reacting and you need to go home and think about this" So he would go gome and later on he would find out that her ex drove her to Ryan's house, fucked her in Ryan's driveway and then she went in and fell asleep with Ryan

Are you kidding?
Swear. That's like haggard shit. So it's basically about that and how Ryan was so whipped and stuff

Was she hot?
I mean, she was pretty I guess, but then you'd meet her and you see what she's like and it's kind of a turn off because Ryan's like "That big gaping hole, she's such a dirty whore" So then she turns really haggard right when he says that

Do you still have her number?
No, he does though, I'm sure

Do you think he'd be pissed if I called him and asked him for it?
Oh no, he'd probably love it, He thinks it's hilarious. So yeah, it's about Ryan and me and Bran like have to spy on her to see if she's cheating on him and stuff and it turns out she's humpin this dude Hell Boy, which is Rake Yohn and it's just a big comedy. Hopefully everybody will be laughing non stop through the whole movie. There's so much funny shit in it though and everybody's gonna be in it

What's it like for you, a little shitbag from Pennslyvania, and you're going and meeting with these heads of movie companies and shit?
Yeah, it's pretty weird cause I thought that I was going with Danielle, my manager, but it turned out that it was just me by myself. So I'm going to all these places and I'm 21, I'm just some dude on Jackass, I wrote this film and because Jackass is one of thier best shows, they're just eating the shit up. So I'm not really worried about it. I'm probably going to get a call some time before April 1 and they're going to let me know how much money I can do it for

Are you going to direct it too?
I want to cause I already know who I want everything to be. And I only want Cky music and H.I.M. music to be in it. That's my little rule

Are those the only CDs you own?
Somehow my whole CD collection, it holds 24 CDs, and 22 of 'em are H.I.M. and the other two are CKy

But is that hard for you going to these meetings and shit like not knowing people?
At first it was like, the first two meetings sucked because I didn't know what to say and then there I was just like dude, I don't even give a shit anymore, so I went in there really cocky and they ate it all up. I told them "I'm not really worried about it because I know it's gonna be such a good movie and I'm so confident cause all the good ideas that I have been saving up for the past 5 years are in this movie and same with Brandon" Brandon would be saving his ideas up and he put it in the movie too, and then Hoof went to Pitt University for script writing, so when me and Brandon finished writing our script, we gave it to Hoof and he fixed it up with like bigger words and just made it into a legit script

Is there going to be a Johnny Knoxville cameo?
Um, no. I mean it would be cool if he was, but he's doing movies for a million and I just want CKy dudes in there. People call up Knoxville like "Hey, I want you to do this party tonight and I'll pay you $15,000 and he's like "Nah" Shit bitch, I'd do it for $1,500. Bring it on

What was the deal with your night in New York City with him for fashion week?
He just called me up like "I'm in New York and if you could come up here at 8 oclock then we could get into this limo and go to this crazy party" I just got in my car and left, made it there, perfect timing and then we hopped into this car and went to this party. That's where I met Pink

You go to alot of those big Hollywood Parites now?
Not really, I got to them more now. I went to this Def Jam party and it's just like "Cool I'm in this mansion in Beverly Hills with CKy dudes and there's Nelly and there's Sisqo and there's Ja Rule. Too bad I don't have shit to say to any of them cause I don't listen to any of their music

Back to the night in New York, how did you and Knoxville end up in bed together with makeup on?
After the fashion party, we went to this haggard bar that Garofalo, Janeane hangs out at and that's who we met there and we got all this makeup from he party because it was sponsered by MAC makeup or something so we're just like look at all this shit we have and then Garofalo, Janeane was puttin eyeliner on me and then doing it to Knoxville and then sooner or later everybody had it on and then we just got all hammered and we went back to the hotel and we both woke up with makeup on and shit and we're all like in bed together. I'm like "Bro, chill out, I'm goin back to Philly, don't say a word about this" He called up Tremaine like "Tremaine, I woke up the next morning in bed with Bam and we both had makeup on"

But what's the deal with you and makeup though, you like to wear makeup?
yeah, well, Valo wears makeup and he's--

The singer of H.I.M. and basically that dude's seriously awesome. I saw him live and there were girls fainting cause he was looking a them while he was singing and I was like I can't believe it. I ended up meeting him and now I hang out with him and talk to him all the time. I did these photos: I drew my arm up cause he has this tattoo on his arm it's like all these vines and shitm and I drew it up and it took like 4 hours and then did a mock up picture of the same one that he did. So when I did the photo shoot I put the fuckin eyeliner on, I don't care

And you have the same tattoos as that dude?
Well, I got a upside down heart on my arm, What I really wanted was the tattoo of the heartagram right about my cock area, so I ended up getting that and Jenn got one on her back

Did you have to have your pants around your ankles when you got your tattoo?
No, I was wearing sweatpants, and I pulled it down as low as I could without having my cock stick out

Did you get a hard on?

How do you feel about little kids immitating you?
I don't know how the hell they could ever think that they could sue Jackass because the kid poured gasoline on himself or his friend did, and then lit him on fire. Of course he's going to go up in flames. Knoxville had on a flame suit. He could just blame it on an Arnold Schwarzenegger film. O watched an Arnold Schwarzenegger film and he was blowing shit up, so why don't you sue him? You probably could get more money. I saw that dude at Columbia Pictures and he was drving around in like a $300,000 Mercedes Land Rover type truck

Are you worried that somebody's gonna eventually die trying to copy one of your things?
I don't know. I get scared sometimes

That you're gonna die?
Dude, I'm on so many airplanes, like suppose I just crash on one? What's gonna happen? As long as I'm listening to H.I.M I'll be all right. I've seen videos and it's either them completely copying what I did, or it's just like something else that's really half assed. Like if they give me a video of them like slapping each other, it's such half ass slaps and stuff, it's just kinda gay. I don't know, I never really got a video that was like 'Damn, they're goin all out' I haven't seen that

When you're trying to skate, do you get alot of kids pestering you?
I'll try to skate in a demo and I'll have at least 10 kids that are dead serious like "C'mon man, punch me right in the face" I'm like "Dude, I'm skating, why do you want me to punch you in the face?" "Just do it man, Throw me down the stairs, push me off this bridge" They would seriously let me kill them to be in a video. I went to Japan, and this kid was just wanting to be in a video so bad.he jumped off this loading dock and the railing was about 5 feet high, and he couldn't jump high enough so he clipped his belly and then did 2 flips because he was running full speed toward the fence and he jumped it and clipped his belly so then he just got whipped around and then he flew into thus serious dirt river. There was no ladder to get out, and he's just floating around in this sick disgusting garbagy river. I was like like "Dude, that's disgusting"

Did that make it into CKy?
No, some kid was filming it in like high-8 and I was like "Bro, I don't want it"

Do you ever take kids up on thier offer of punching them in the face, like if you were pissed off?
No. I don't really do it. I just like punching Ryan and Brandon or Raab. I don't know, Ryan has a big fat head like he could handle it

Do you ever get into any fights with jocks you see in bars?
That's funny you mentition that because I don't really ever get in fights unless it's on film, but on Saint Patricks Day I was with my friend Brandon Novac from Baltimore, he was like Bucky's little sidekick back in the day, he rode for Powell, but he was visiting and I was with Jenn and a few CKy dudes and we were walking home at two in the morning from the bar and some jock on the payphone looked at Jenn's ass and was like "Nice ass" and I was just like whatever, I'll just let it go, and then some other guy was like "Yeah, I'd fuck her" and I don't know what happened, but I just turned around and started swinging full force punching the shit out of this dude. He so wasn't really ready for it at all and I was just laughing as I was doing it like "Yeah, how do you like that, fat boy? Oh yeah, punch me, come on punch me in the face I want more I like that shit"

What happened to you?
I guess he punched me pretty good a few times. I woke up the next day with like a few bruises on my fce, but it didn't hurt at the time--I was laughing my ass off. The his friend charged Brandon Novac and was just punching him, but Brandon had stolen a pool ball from Rex's bar and because Naked Dave bet he couldn't do it, so he had a pool ball in his pocket and he just popped the dude over the head with it and he was out cold. Then we got up laughing and then walked off. and those dudes are never gonna talk shit from across the street again, so it was pretty funny. I thought it was worth it Iwas so hurt the next day though. I was like "Man, that big fat fuck punched me in the face pretty good"

Do you get thrown out of bars alot?
When there's a bunch of people like just in a bar, and nobody's paying attention because there's such loud music and so much shit going, you couolc just piss on somebody's leg and they would totally not even notice. I would just piss on the dance floor and nobody even knows. I do it all the time. Like next to an arcade game or something. If you're just sitting there talking, acting like nothing is going on, nobody even looks because they never think that would happen

Did you ever get caught pissing on somebody on a dance floor?
I pissed on a dance floor in Sweden and they mistook me for Ryan Dunn, so the next thing you see is Ryan Dunn get thrown out of the fuckin club by his head through the window like straight out of a movie. And he's like "What the fuck did I do?" I was kinda bummed for him, it was so funny though cause they totally thought it was Ryan and he's getting thrown out by his head. I was dying

What's the gnarliest thing that you guys have filmed that you're not allowed to put on TV?
Raab Himself on Sunday morning. He was shitting in the middle of the street with a newspaper and he was naked, shitting in middle of the street, and there was actually like a foot of turd hanging outta his ass, and it's such good footage but MTV of course couldn't play it. They couldn't even blur the poop. They ended up using him just sitting there. but there was a foot of turn hanging out of his ass and the best part about that was like the dude that pulled up to the stop sign was the superintendent from Chester County High Schools and that was the guy who kicked him out of East High School for shitting on a locker. So he sees him four to five years later and this kid hasn't learned one bit. He's still shitting out in public. I didn't know it at the time. That guy called the cops there where three cop cars circling around while me and Chris where hiding in the woods and he's all naked ans shit. We ended up breaking out to my house and we watched the footage when whe got home. He was like "That's the mother fucker who kicked me out of school for shittin on a locker" It was hilarious.

How is it that you have that relationship that you have with Phil? Because I think anybody else would get the shit kickedo out of them if by their father if they treated them like that?
Well, being Phil from the Chi-hook area, he always used to get into these Chester rumbles. he never shuts up about it, like "Back when I was your age I was getting into Chester rumbles kicking people's asses" So I just punch him and give him all these flashbacks and stuff, and he loves it cause he loves fighting, but he's not gonna go out and get in a fight anymore, so i just punch him and give him some flashbacks of the Chester rumbles

He never gets pissed when you just jump on his back or beat the shit out of him?
Sometimes he does. When we were doing a Big Brother interview we made him do push-ups because I was like "Dude, you're a fat ass, you gotta start doing some push-ups" sp he was in the middle of a push up and I dove onto his back and he said "I ruptured something, or jiggled something loose. I'm not the same from that" He got a membership to the gym and he just goes there and lifts weights and swims. I'm like "You got to hop on the fucking treadmill, lifting weights ain't gonna do shit except build muscle and push the fat out" He just doesn't understand. He's like "Your body needs fat" Your body doesn't, you're a fat fucking fuck

Do you think chicks are starting to think Phil's hot?
Actually, yeah, I was at this place and this girl was like "If Phil ever gets a divorce with April, make sure you tell him to give me a call" I'm like, yeah whatever. Like dead serious. I was like, Jesus Christ

Has he told you any stories like that where chicks will try to talk to him now?
I'll be like "Dad, you're such a fat fuck, why don't you do something about it? You go to the gym, but all you do is lift weights, it doesn't do shit. Quit eating hoagies. Chill out, don't put cheese on your sandwhiches anymore" He'll be like "You don't understand, girls think I'm good looking. I get hit on all the time. You have no idea" I'm like "You can't see your dick while you're taking a piss"

So with all this shit happening to you, with all this money you're going to be making, how much is skateboarding still a part of your life?
I'm always going to skate. It's just that there's so much business stuff to be handled that there's hardly any time to skate, but of course I make time. But when I'm in LA sometimes I come for strictly Jackass or movie scripts. I'm in LA and Arto's like "Yo, I'm in Huntington, come and skate with me" It's just like "Dude, I'm not ready to be jumping down 14 stairs after two weeks of meetings, I got to skate a mini-ramp for awhile" But it's good I've been working on the Adio video. They send me to Puerto Rico and Miami and I was skating non stop and getting some good footage. I have a few more months to film, so I'm not stressing at it at all

Do you think, like Jason Lee, the movie stuff will become more important than skateboarding?
When this movie happens I'm gonna put all my effort into that because I want it to be good. I just wanna make sure the CKy dudes have enough money where they're not stressing. Like Raab flipped his car over cause he had a DUI and he had to pay 2 grand and his dad was like "If you don't give me 2 grand in a week, you're life is going to change" I was like "Dude, fuck, here's 2 grand. Just pay me back whenever you can." When they're in the movie they're gonna get a good grip of money. I wanna make sure that they're all set. It took so much time for Bran to trust me again because he thought that me and Tod Swank had this deal going where me and him were making all this money while Brandon's getting ripped off. All Brandon asked for was 2 grand, so I promised him 2 grand and like I'm like "Bran, Tod Swank never paid me back either, dude" and he totally didn't believe me. So because if Tod Swank I wasn't friends with Brandon for like a whole year. That's what happens when you get Swanked. He was showing me all these fucking pie charts and stuff and Bran didn't want to hear about it. I'm like "Dude, I swear Bran" and he's like "Bullshit, you got to go to California, you guys are riggin stuff" And then finally now that I have a lawsuit against the mother fucker, Bran's like "All right, I believe you"

Have any acting roles or any opportunities come up for Brandon?
No. There would be if he would get out of Westchester, but he just likes filming his own stuff with me. He hates traveling. I think there would be alot of opportunities if he would just come to California with me for a week. I'm always out there and I'm always meeting people. It's still hard to believe whos serious and who isn't "Yo, Scary Movie 2, are you doing it or not?" It's like "Yeah, all right, I'll do it" and then they'll set up an appointment for me and it just turns out to be a fucking audition. It's like "An audition? I'm not doing this shit"

You don't do audtitions?
It's gay. Memorize the script and then film yourself in front of a white background as your reading the script. I was reading the new Adam Sandler movie and my part was to dig through a soda machine, like trying to grab a soda, and somebody's like "What are you doing?" I'm like "I put money in" But how are you gonna say that with a white background when there is no soda machine? You feel like a complete dipshit. I'm like "Fuck this, I don't even care, I'll just do my own shit" That's how I've been getting recognized anyway, doing my own things

But that's how most people have to do it, they have to audtition for shit
I know, but I did CKy one and two and I've been doing my own ideas on Jackass and people jave been getting psyched for that, so I might as well just keep doing that instead of trying to do somebody else's script that's written for any ole person. I want a script that's written for me. I wanna write my own shit

What's the deal with this party I hear you're having right before the XGame Finals?
It's gonna be good. It's on August 19th and CKy and H.I.M. are going to be playing. Everybody from CKy will be there and pro skaters from the XGames, like Tony Hawk and Kerry Getz and Maldonado and all these dudes. It's gonna be a sick ass event. We're actually going to be filming Your Life is Haggard: The Movie. That party is going to be the ending of the movie where Ryan finally tells her to fuck off. So whoever goes there might just be in the movie. It's gonna be at the Electric Factory in Philadelphia. It's gonna be awesome

I guess that's it. I don't think we need anything else. We got two sides of a tape. Do you got to give your plugs or your shout outs or whatever?
No. Everybody knows who they are

Jackass on Sunday nights on MTV at the 10 spot